| Overview | Transcript |
Gayle Gossip: Hi there, podcast listeners! I'm NGTV's Gayle Gossip introducing the latest show from Ninjago Public Radio. In this episode, our hosts discuss tiny hats for squirrels. But my question is, what do you think a squirrel in a tiny hat looks like? Draw a picture while you're listening. And when you're done, use the Lego Play app to upload a photo of your creation using the hashtag "Crosstalk". Now on with the squirrel- uh I mean, show.
(Jaunty music plays.)
Lobbo: (Microphone feedback.) Testing! Testing! Lobbo-Lobbo! (Eeks.)
Kreel: Hello! Welcome to the only podcast where the roads and the talk cross together to keep you informed and entertained. It's time for Crossroads' Crosstalk.
(Crossroads' Crosstalk theme plays.)
Lobbo: Crossroads' Crosstalk, Lobbo-Lobbo! I'm your co-host, Lobbo, Lobbo-Lobbo!
Kreel: And I'm the host you like, Kreel! Though Lobbo may have actually lined up a good show today. But before we get to our main story, it's time for a word from our sponsor. Oh okay, I have it on a card here. (Ruffling paper sounds. Kreel clears her throat.) Let's see, it says squirrels, our busy little friends, we enjoy watching their cute antics, but we all know they'd look even cuter in tiny hats. (Sighs.) This so dumb. So whether you want your bushy backyard buddies to have fun sized fedoras, tiny ten gallons, or teeny-weeny beanies, turn to Lobbo's Hats for Squirrels for all your rodent haberdashery needs.
Sponsorship Jingle: Lobbo's Hats for Squirrels. Wearing burying acorns or climbing up trees. Lobbo's Hats for Squirrels. Lobbo's Hats for Squirrels.
Lobbo: Possible side effects may include toxic cuteness overload. Sorry no refunds if squirrels won't actually wear hats. Please use squirrel hats responsibly, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Kreel: Okay, time for our main story. We're coming to you live from inside the Explorer's Club of Ninjago. That's right, Lobbo got us a special all-access tour of the club's treasure vault! And anyone who knows me knows my favorite thing in the world is treasure. Bling-bling! (Laughs.)
Lobbo: I was worried because the manager, Cecil Putnam, seemed reluctant to let us in, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Kreel: Yeah, that pencil pusher is a total snob. Though, to be fair, our press badges are a clown show. Why'd you make them in crayon?
Lobbo: Lobbo does all offical documents with crayon, stickers, and glitter. It makes mundane paperwork more fun, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Kreel: Uh okay. So who's gonna be our tour guide? I hope it's that legit snack, Clutch Powers. (Giggles.)
Explorer: (clears throat.) Pardon me.
Kreel: Uh what? Oh uh sure you're pardoned, buddy. Now, move along, we're waiting for somebody impressive.
Lobbo: Kreel, this might be who we're waiting for, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Explorer: Indeed! The club's press officer asked if I'd being willing to give two podcasters a tour. Allow me to introduce myself, for I am the gentleman historian known as Dr. Dr. Reginald Slitherbottom, explorer extraordinaire. Please hold your applause. Thank you for holding your applause so thoroughly.
Kreel: No, it was pretty easy, since we've never heard of you. Isn't Clutch Powers around here somewhere?
Reginald Slitherbottom: Surely you jest! Why, by jove, if you haven't heard the name Dr. Dr. Reginald Slitherbottom, you are not well verse in the annals of explorer history. Why, who faced down the Quicksand Pit of Greater Lamar?
Kreel: The whatta-who?
Reginald Slitherbottom: 'Twas I! And who was the only non-Tide-Folk person to ever dance in the ritual fire-waltz ceremony with the Lava-Tides?
Kreel: Fire-waltz? How does that work?
Reginald Slitherbottom: 'Twas I! And who braved the booby traps in the sacred Leviathan Temple?
Kreel: Let me guess. You again Dr. Slimebutt?
Reginald Slitherbottom: Dr. Dr. Slitherbottom. The first Serpentine to ever be admitted to the Explorer's Club.
Lobbo: You keep saying "Doctor" twice, it's weird when people mistakenly repeat parts of their names like that, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Reginald Slitherbottom: Oh no mistake, old bean. For I've earned doctorates twice over. Once in the field of Advance Adventure Archeology, and again in the field of Whip-Crack-ology. (Whip crack sound.)
Kreel: Okay, that's dumb, but you know what, who cares! Bring on the treasure! Is there a big vat of gold coins we can dive into, oooh, or is only a bathtub of rubies?
Reginald Slitherbottom: Sadly, the practice of bathing in tubs of cut gems was discontinued years ago due to all the scratches one would get. But fear not, many a wonder awaits you on the other side of this vault door.
(Sounds of the vault door opening.)
Kreel: Woah! Now we're talking! Look at all this stuff! Racks and racks of bling and bling! Is that a jewel encrusted crown?!
Reginald Slitherbottom: Ah, good eye. That's the jewel encrusted Crown of Plesaxe. But don't touch it, it's cursed!
Lobbo: Is that a gold rubber ducky, Lobbo-Lobbo?!
Reginald Slitherbottom: The Golden Rubber Ducky of Kradoon. But don't touch it, it's cursed!
Kreel: Is that a pair of fuzzy slippers?
Reginald Slitherbottom: Ah the Fuzzy Slippers of Kheed. But don't touch them, they're cursed!
Lobbo: Oh my! Anything in here not cursed, Lobbo-Lobbo?
Reginald Slitherbottom: Hmm, yes good question. Let's see, um that's cursed. Yes, that one, big time, cursed. Double cursed. Oh, there, the Scepter of Anka-man-tah.
Kreel: Not cursed?
Reginald Slitherbottom: No, no. Well, only lightly cursed.
Kreel: Hm, well what would happen if I touched it?
Reginald Slitherbottom: Uh nothing too bad. Just, you know, boils. Big green, puss filled boils.
Kreel: Eugh, that's lightly cursed?
Reginald Slitherbottom: Certainly! For an adventurer like myself, that's just par for the course.
Lobbo: Huh? Is this trumpet-looking thing a musical instrument, Lobbo-Lobbo?
Reginald Slitherbottom: No mere instrument, my spherical friend. That's the great Flugelhorn of Tomport, made from pure Grundle bone. It's said that blowing this flugelhorn will summon the end of all existence!
Lobbo: Oh really? Let's see! (Inhales.)
Kreel: No, Lobbo! Don't blow on that!
(Lobbo spits and something breaks.)
Lobbo: Lobbo-Lobbo!
Reginald Slitherbottom: Oh no! What have you done?
Kreel: What? I had to shove him away or he'd have blown that horn-thing and ended all existence! I just saved the world like a Ninja! Hah! I'm a hero.
Lobbo: Oh. End of all existence. Sorry, Lobbo misheard. I thought he said "bend" of all existence, Lobbo-lobbo.
Kreel: What would "bend of all existence" even mean?
Lobbo: Lobbo didn't know. That's why Lobbo wanted to find out, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Reginald Slitherbottom: Yes, you stopped him, but you've broken the Vase of the Scarab Queen. (Gasps.) It's cursed.
Lobbo: Ah! What are these bugs appearing everywhere?! Lobbo-Lobbo!
Reginald Slitherbottom: Ah! The Phantom Scarabs of Dread!
Lobbo: What should we do?! Lobbo-Lobbo!
Reginald Slitherbottom: You've done enough! Get out! Get out you fools! I told the press office we shouldn't let in podcasters whose press badges were in crayon! (Sounds of the vault door opening and shutting accompanied by sounds of footsteps running.) Ah no, get off me. (Whip crack,) Get back you bean, ya! (Whip crack.)
Lobbo: Kreel, we need to do something, Lobbo-Lobbo!
Kreel: (Sighs.) What can we do? He rushed us out and slammed the vault door.
Lobbo: But I feel so bad. We unleashed a curse, Lobbo-Lobbo!
Kreel: Meh. We did. Well, mostly you did. But hey, whatcha gonna do? Let the professional do his thing. Well, guess that brings us to our final segment, The Last Word.
(Serene music plays.)
Lobbo: The Last Word, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Kreel: Today we learned a valuable lesson. As wonderful as it is to chill in huge rooms of treasure, the real treasure in life in not having to deal with the consequences of your own careless mistakes.
Lobbo: What? Kreel, that's a terrible lesson, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Kreel: Well, true. But some lessons are terrible. Like that ballroom dance lesson I took once.
Lobbo: Oh, yeah. That was terrible.
Reginald Slitherbottom: (Heavy breathing.) Take that. (Whip crack.) Take that. (Whip crack.) And that. And that! (Laughs as Crossroads' Crosstalk theme plays.) Come on. I'm not done with you yet! (Whip crack.)
Kreel: This podcast was written, directed, produced, recorded, engineered, edited, mixed, mastered, released, and marketed by Kreel... Also, Lobbo was nearby.
(End of the episode. For more information, click here.)