| Overview | Transcript |
Gayle Gossip: Hi there podcast listeners! I'm NGTV's Gayle Gossip. Introducing the next episode of the latest show from Ninjago Public Radio. Today, the hosts discuss a local art show which celebrates our wonderful ninja. While you listen, why not draw or paint your favorite ninja? Once you're done, use the Lego Play app to upload a photo of your creation using the hashtag "Crosstalk". Now on with the show.
(Jaunty music plays.)
Lobbo: Testing! Testing! Lobbo-Lobbo! (Eeks.)
Kreel: Hello! Welcome to the only podcast where the roads and the talk cross together to keep you informed and entertained. It's time for Crossroads' Crosstalk.
(Crossroads' Crosstalk theme plays.)
Lobbo: Crossroads' Crosstalk, Lobbo-Lobbo! I'm your co-host, Lobbo, Lobbo-Lobbo!
Kreel: And I'm your good host, Kreel! Each week, our new podcast will bring you local news, dishy chats, and all-important sponsorships! (Money sound plays.) Cha-ching! First up: News From the Crossroads.
(News broadcast music plays.)
Lobbo: News From the Crossroads, Lobbo-Lobbo. Big news! On the corner of Scales Street and Trustable Drive, an art show will be held to honor our heroes, the ninja, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Kreel: Your heroes. My best friends.
Lobbo: Stop by and check out art from two dozen local artists. Just look for the giant portrait of Zane that marks the entrance. Lobbo-Lobbo.
Kreel: Which one's Zane again?
Lobbo: The Elemental Master of Ice. How do you not know that? You just said the ninja were your best friends, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Kreel: Oh, he must be one of the good ones. I'm not besties with the good ones, just the little bratty ones. You know, Yellow-Pants and Soreria.
Lobbo: Hah. You definitely sound like best friends to me, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Kreel: And that's a great segway into today's sponsor: Merlopian Rotfish Mouthwash. Tired of your breath not smelling of rotting fish? Worried your fellow sea dweller friends will catch a whiff of freshness from your mouthparts? Then try Merlopian Rotfish Mouthwash, made from only the most rancid of ingredients.
Ad jingle: (Sung.) Merlopian Rothfish Mouthwash, (Spoken.) bad breath never smelled so good.
Lobbo: Side effect may include loss of mental clarity, loss of keys, and loss of place in the book you're reading, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Kreel: Okay, now what's our main story?
Lobbo: We've got a great guest! Lobbo wrote notes for you, Kreel, so you could do the intro, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Kreel: Oh okay. Crossroads' Crosstalk is proud to bring you one of the most profound thought leaders in the Crossroads. Please welcome the truth seeker known as Intelligent- Oh no, not this clown.
Lobbo: Oh wa...uh, did Lobbo write that? My mistake. His name is not clown, it's Intelligent George, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Kreel: (As an aside.) Lobbo, I told you to never book this guy.
Lobbo: And I didn't book him, just scheduled him to be on the podcast! Also, Lobbo might not know what booking means. Anyways, here he is, Lobbo-Lobbo!
Intelligent George: Lobbo! Kreel! It's an honor for you to have me on your show because I, Inteligent George, am the only one asking the smart brained questions that keep your listeners informed about real truths.
Kreel: What truths? Like what? You're a nutty conspiracy weirdo who'll believe any wacky theory?
Intelligent George: The wacky theories of today are the accepted facts of tomorrow. Such as the fact that the Night Ghost is again haunting the Crossroads, lurking through the streets, feedings on the innocent microwave burritos in your freezer. Even if you put sticky notes with your name on them!
Lobbo: (Gasps.) Lobbo-Lobbo.
Kreel: A ghost is eating your burritos?
Intelligent George: There's no other explanation. I've seen no human take them and neither have my roommate, Steve. Steve would know because he doesn't have a job and he's home all day long, even when I'm not.
Kreel: Just going out on a limb, but could this Steve guy be eating your burritos?
Intelligent George: Absurd! Steve can't be the Night Ghost. He's alive, for one thing. Now, I don't want to alarm anyone, but there are also very credible reports of tiny, mischievous beings called Jaksopords stealing hats and shrinking them down to their own size by means of ritual dance.
Kreel: Ah, there's so much dumb in that, I don't even know where to start.
Intelligent George: If the Jaksopords aren't shrinking hats, give me another explanation for the tiny hats found scattered all over the neighborhood recently. Hmm?
Lobbo: I can't! Lobbo-Lobbo!
Intelligent George: No one can! (In a spooky tone.) Oooooo. Spooky noises.
Kreel: So... You know what I do for a living, right?
Intelligent George: Course. You run the junkyard.
Lobbo: It's a good junkyard too! I met a family of squirrels living in the section for illegal death ray parts. They were cute, so I made tiny hats for them. But sadly, they wouldn't wear them. They scattered them all over the neighborhood. Huh, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Kreel: Yup, I run a junkyard. So, I know junk when I encounter it. And buddy, all your theories are junk. Big time.
Intelligent George: Sadly Kreel, your critical thinking skills are making you believe everything "evidence" and "logic" tell you. I bet you even believe unrealistic things like "gravity". (Laughs smugly.)
Kreel: You don't believe in gravity?
Intelligent George: Pft. If the so-called "law of gravity" truly exists, how come there is zero records of any such law passing in any court?
Lobbo: (Gasps.) Lobbo's mind is blown! Lobbo-Lobbo!
Intelligent George: I know. It's a shocking conspiracy.
Lobbo: No, Lobbo's mind has literally blown a circuit (An explosion and glitch sounds.). Please hold. (Power down sounds.) It only takes a second to change parts out of my brain center, hehe. (Repair and power up sounds.) Ahh, there we go. Lobbo's mind is un-blown now. let's continue, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Kreel: How are you sitting there saying gravity is fake?
Intelligent George: With intellectual honestly.
Kreel: No, I mean, if there's no gravity, literally, how are you sitting there? Gravity holds your bottom to the seat.
Intelligent George: Please. What's more likely? There's an invisible force you conveniently can't see, hear, or smell that makes your bottom stay on seats? Or, the simpler truth, that bottoms just like to sit on seats, so they do?
Kreel: You say gravity's invisible but how about I show you gravity?
(Bonk and microphone feedback sounds.)
Intelligent George: Ow! Why'd you drop the microphone on my head?!
Kreel: I didn't. Gravity did. Wanna see gravity again?
Intelligent George: Look, just trust me. I have an advanced degree in Meta-Psyonic-Crypto-Transdimensional-Engineering from a very respected university.
Kreel: Hm, sounds fake. Which one? Where?
Intelligent George: Ah, well, it isn't so much an accredited school in the quote unquote "real" world as it is a hyper dimensional learning institution situated in the fertile reality of my own imagination.
Kreel: You imagined you graduated with an advanced degree?
Intelligent George: Correct! And with honors.
Lobbo: Congratulations, Lobbo-Lobbo!
Intelligent George: Oh, thank you. But before I forget, I'd be remiss if I didn't give your listeners an update about the giant puppet that's been roaming the Sea of Sand and-
Kreel: Nope, that's too obviously made up. I'm pulling the plug on his mic. And that's all we have time for on today's episode. So, it's time for the final segment: The Last Word.
(Serene music plays.)
Lobbo: The Last Word, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Kreel: Today, we all learned a very valuable lesson. Just because someone claims to be an expert doesn't mean they actually are. Always check the sources of information before you believe it or pass it on to others.
Lobbo: Hm. That is not what I learned. I learned sticky notes do not protect burritos from the Night Ghost, Lobbo-Lobbo.
Kreel: We also learned I should never let my co-host book the guest.
Lobbo: Hold on. Is that what "booking" someone means? Ohhhh, that makes way more sense than what I was thinking. Until next time. This is your co-host, Lobbo. Lobbo-Lobbo!
Kreel: And your actual host, Kreel! Crossroads, keep crossing!
(Crossroads' Crosstalk theme plays while Kreel talks.)
Kreel: Today's podcast was written, directed, produced, recorded, engineered, edited, mixed, mastered, released, and marketed by Kreel... Also, Lobbo was nearby.
(End of the episode. For more information, click here.)